Moustache of the Month

Moustaches of the Yesteryear

John Henry Gee, described by the 1866 New York Tribune as:  'about 47 years of age, five feet nine inches in height, well built though rather slight, with brown hair largely sprinkled with gray, gray moustache and goatee, blue eyes, aquiline nose, with an intelligent and rather anxious expression.'

Speaking of intelligent, Gee, or "Doctor G" as he was commonly referred by his homies, was made famous by two things (aside from the aforementioned moustache and aquiline features).

First, in 1864 the Docta was made warden of a Confederate Army prison in North Carolina where lotta folks 'gone done died'.  

Second, Gee used his superior intellect by trying to stop a large urban fire with a 25 pound powder keg.   It was the last act for Doctor G, the Whiskers from the Land of Iskers.  Didn't even have time to kiss his butt goodbye.  The whereabouts of his moustache are unknown.

For more info:  !!!

My Girlfriend Won't Kiss Me

Yep.  True.  No picture today for this sad sad moustachioed fella.  Counting the days.  Thanks for the donations.

Moustache of the Day

"CHARLENE"

aka

"MADAME" 

aka 

"MOUSTACHIO"

for more info: CLICK HERE

Thumbs Down to Ironic Moustaches

Alright hipsters, whoever you are.   What's with the ironic moustaches?    

I don't get it.  I'm not even sure if they can actually be called ironic.  Maybe they're just an ill-conceived fashion choice...a stab at anti-fashion commentary which ironically just becomes a fashion trend?  Anyhow i'm boring myself.  

What I am trying to say is: YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE.

Take this invented future potential anecdote, for example:

It's 2050.    You're seventy-years-old and Martin Sheen is once again president of the United States .  You're sitting in your bamboo easy chair, and you've got your grandchildren on your lap.  

They ask you (in unison):   "Grandpa/grandma....what was life like in the time before the polar ice caps melted and we didn't have to eat people?"

And you have no choice but to answer:   "Well, kids, I was living life ironically."

Think about it.    It's never too late, until it's way too late.

Moustaches of Yesteryear

"Ach! Fraulein!  My schnauzbart more than makes up for my withered arm!  Anyhow, let's help start a war!!!!"

HOW TO DONATE 2

I'm growing this awful thing to raise awareness for Prostate Cancer, which because of its proximity to TESTICLES is somehow a taboo subject.  Anyhow, give up the money so noboody has to talk about TESTICLES.

Click THIS link to donate.

Day 20

A little under the weather today.

A Moustache Bearer's Recipe for Feelgood Tea

1. one hair, left side moustache

2. one hair, right side moustache

3.  pinch of cayenne pepper

4. pinch of old food mined from within rich-moustache-tapestry

5.  One litre ethanol

6.  Three cups boiling water

7.  Mix and serve with honey

8. Drink in the company of several moustache-bearing paramedics, all the while toasting frequently to Tommy Douglas

9.  Feel Bettter

10. Admire Life Sustaining Moustache in Mirror

Moustache of the Day

VIRGIN

Day 18

Less than two weeks before I can shave this thing.

Critical Reading For Any Moustache Enthusiast

http://users.rcn.com/nkwoodward/ephemera/moustache.htm

Day 15 - Pretty much a moustache

I spent the day canvassing for a local civic party. I'm pretty sensitive about my moustache. I've noticed people's eyes drawn to it, like you might be drawn to look down at a festering wart. There's this kind of repulsion-but-i-have-to-look thing. Over the past few days, these looks have decreased in number.

I would chock it up to the fact that I am closer to a real, respectable moustache (as respectable as a facial centipede can be - well ALMOST...moustache wax can only take it to that level). It's not peach fuzz anymore. I'm not the 15-year-old trying to buy beer from his friends. I'm a paramedic, or possibly a trans-am enthusiast and devout fan of Lynrd Skynrd. In any case, I'm an adult who has made a choice and stuck with it, despite looking ridiculous.

And that, people, earns you enough respect for people not to assume you're going to rob the liquor store. Well, the last few days this is what I've come to believe...until today.

To the seven year-old child who answered the door today and immediately began to cry:
"I'm sorry. It's temporary. It's like a mask, but more itchy . "

Donate to cancer research people. Do it for the children.

From another blog....

Moustache of the Day

Joe the Plumber ain't got nothin' on this guy.  But his pizza does taste a little like colon.

Day 12 - What happened to day 7-11?

Hello,

I'm sure all of you are wondering where I've been the past few days.  Well, I've been on a fact-finding mission, South of the border trying to get a sense of the truly international moustache and what it all means.

While searching, all the while, IT HAS GROWN.  Yes, oh yes.

Moustache of the Day

M-RULE #407-234:  Your moustache should be neither greater nor lesser than the sum of your eyebrows.

Day 6

It's getting itchier....and I feel like now, when I meet someone, I have to explain.

"Hi, I'm Zac. Yeah, so, this moustache isn't really what I do. No, I'm not a first-responder."

I feel like everyone is looking at me. When I see someone I know, I can feel their eyes drifting toward my indecent upper-lip. Is there such a thing as a "lip-cleavage" cover for men?

Anyone???

DAY 5

Whiskers on the way...more to come.

Day 4

Moustache of the Day
Grow it, and the Ferrari will follow.

Day 3

OBAMA!OBAMA!OBAMA!

The man knows how to wear a moustache like he knows how to bring home an election.   Must have grown it on the plane in between Florida and Ohio.  Trade winds make for optimal moustache-growing conditions.

HOW TO DONATE

NO!  WHile deeply narcissistic, this blog is NOT all about my moustache!  IT's supposed to help raise funds to fight prostate cancer.  So PONY UP and donate.

Details below:

You can donate to Zac's moustache by either:

Clicking this link 

https://www.movember.com/ca/donate/donate-details.php?action=sponsorlink&rego=1933401&country=ca 

and donating online OR
Writing a cheque payable to the ‘Prostate Cancer Research Foundation of Canada', referencing Zac Rothman's  Registration Number 1933401 and mailing it to:

Prostate Cancer Research Foundation of Canada
Attn: Movember
145 Front Street East
Suite 306
Toronto Ontario M5A 1E3

Donations are tax deductible to the extent permitted by law.

The money raised by Movember is donated directly to the Prostate Cancer Research Foundation of Canada who will use the funds to create awareness and fund research across the country into prevention, detection and treatment, with a goal to ending the threat of prostate cancer.

DO IT!

Day 2

I've got to level with you.  I come from, what my Melanie refers to as the "hair belt".  It's a wedge of land that runs along the Mediterranean Sea and up into the mountains of eastern Europe.    Eons ago, a band of super-intelligent gorillas invaded the area.  I believe that I am their descendant.  More on this theory another time.

Day 2 and my stubble is more pronounced.   It's fuzzy and dark.  Pleasant to the touch as well. Day 3 will yield more results I'm sure.  If I knew the Macedonian National Anthem, I would sing it.

Why I Grow It For You

Because we all know men.  Loveable men.  Healthy Loveable Men.  Men who don't know the first thing about prostate cancer (I am one of these people).   

This blog - and this moustache - is for all of you.