Moustache of the Month

Moustaches of the Yesteryear

John Henry Gee, described by the 1866 New York Tribune as:  'about 47 years of age, five feet nine inches in height, well built though rather slight, with brown hair largely sprinkled with gray, gray moustache and goatee, blue eyes, aquiline nose, with an intelligent and rather anxious expression.'

Speaking of intelligent, Gee, or "Doctor G" as he was commonly referred by his homies, was made famous by two things (aside from the aforementioned moustache and aquiline features).

First, in 1864 the Docta was made warden of a Confederate Army prison in North Carolina where lotta folks 'gone done died'.  

Second, Gee used his superior intellect by trying to stop a large urban fire with a 25 pound powder keg.   It was the last act for Doctor G, the Whiskers from the Land of Iskers.  Didn't even have time to kiss his butt goodbye.  The whereabouts of his moustache are unknown.

For more info:  !!!

My Girlfriend Won't Kiss Me

Yep.  True.  No picture today for this sad sad moustachioed fella.  Counting the days.  Thanks for the donations.

Moustache of the Day

"CHARLENE"

aka

"MADAME" 

aka 

"MOUSTACHIO"

for more info: CLICK HERE

Thumbs Down to Ironic Moustaches

Alright hipsters, whoever you are.   What's with the ironic moustaches?    

I don't get it.  I'm not even sure if they can actually be called ironic.  Maybe they're just an ill-conceived fashion choice...a stab at anti-fashion commentary which ironically just becomes a fashion trend?  Anyhow i'm boring myself.  

What I am trying to say is: YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE.

Take this invented future potential anecdote, for example:

It's 2050.    You're seventy-years-old and Martin Sheen is once again president of the United States .  You're sitting in your bamboo easy chair, and you've got your grandchildren on your lap.  

They ask you (in unison):   "Grandpa/grandma....what was life like in the time before the polar ice caps melted and we didn't have to eat people?"

And you have no choice but to answer:   "Well, kids, I was living life ironically."

Think about it.    It's never too late, until it's way too late.

Moustaches of Yesteryear

"Ach! Fraulein!  My schnauzbart more than makes up for my withered arm!  Anyhow, let's help start a war!!!!"

HOW TO DONATE 2

I'm growing this awful thing to raise awareness for Prostate Cancer, which because of its proximity to TESTICLES is somehow a taboo subject.  Anyhow, give up the money so noboody has to talk about TESTICLES.

Click THIS link to donate.